08 December, 2005

How do I win them back Alone?

I am having problems with my Drama Club.
I'm trying so hard to follow in the steps of Liam, and be a good president. But I feel like all I am doing is failing. And miserably at that. Perhaps I am just horrible. Perhaps I was just unfortunate to draw a lot of shit heads. I can't do it alone and I feel like Weber doesn't have my back.

I wanted to enjoy my senior year of Drama. But I can't. I've got to have a fight with the director and I've got to argue with him when he challenges me infront of the others.

Maybe I"m wrong in seeing him as a threat. But then again, if he challenges my choices, and my descions, who next? Who will be the next to say I'm wrong? I've tried so hard. I've only yelled to get their attention. I've begun and ended everything with good things, I've never walked away from them, and I've told them they can come to me. I try to be supportive, and there for every meeting. Sometimes things come up. Sometimes I've got things to do that can't be rescheduled. Is that where I lose their respect?

Goddess! Fuck. What the hell am I supose to do, to get them to understand that this acting, this is what I live for?! I want to be an actress! I want to work on plays, I want to teach others how. But I can't teach them if they don't fucking listen. If they don't get their heads out of their asses.

Am I fighting a losing battle? I don't know.


FUCKING HELL! I don't know anything any more. What do they want from me?


I've given them my heart, and my soul. I pour my being into this club. My blood, my sweat, my tears. Do I need to forget the lessons of the past leaders? Do I need to walk out like John? Should I yell and go pshyco like David? Perhaps a council with Liam could help. But I just don't know anymore.


I don't know how to deal with the shit that I've been handed. How do I turn a sow's ear into a silk purse? How do I earn their respect? How do I win them back...alone?

cheshiretear at 8:23

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